Monday, April 27, 2009

Week 7: Flu-like Symptoms

pigeeFor those in attendance on Saturday, beware of possible exposure to Game-FLU-By.

Game-FLU-By (“flu”) is a condition of a regularly scheduled ultimate frisbee game. The flu causes high levels of points for sludge and quick disposal of a low-scoring opponent. Flu outbreaks typically circulate among the first games of each spring & fall season; less common are flu infections during the post-season.

What are the symptoms of Game-FLU-By in Sludge?
The symptoms of flu are expected to be similar to the symptoms of a regular ultimate frisbee game and include eagerness, slight increase in heart rate & dehydration. Zone-turned-person D creating frequent turnovers exacerbates symptoms. Vaccines for human seasonal flu would not provide protection from this weekend's B2Swill strain.

On Saturday, readings were 0-1, 4-2, 8-2, 9-3, 14-4, finally ending 15-4. Some people with flu also have reported runny nose, sun exposure & wishing games went up to 21 points.

Can people catch Game-FLU-By from eating pork?
Uhhhhhhm...No. Flu viruses are not transmitted by food or eating pork products.

What medications are available to treat Game-FLU-By infections in Sludge?
At this time, recommendations are the safe employment of an afternoon nap, responsible hydration of either filtered water &/or cold beer; and then possibly another nap.

No comments: